Today’s (13 May 2009) Straits Times carried a forum letter, "Instilling Values a Complex Task", in which the writer states :
The social and cultural environment in which young people are informally educated consists of more than parents and teachers. In today’s information society, a child’s identity develops under influences that far exceed the censorship of well-meaning adults.
Television, cinema, popular music and the Internet, for example, are powerful and pervasive transmitters of popular culture and cosmopolitan values.
Such media images of gender roles and sexual behaviour draw on a range of liberal and conservative perspectives.
To what extent does the formal curriculum in schools teach students to critically analyse these diverse media messages so as to help them make responsible, well- informed decisions for themselves?
Censoring all alternative views would be contrary to the Ministry of Education’s (MOE) push for critical thinking. If argumentative essays at the secondary and junior college levels can encourage students to engage both sides of the ‘pro-life’ and ‘pro-choice’ abortion debate, why should not this balanced approach be similarly extended to the controversial topics of gender roles and sexual orientation?
A mature curriculum for sexuality education should reflect not only the mainstream views and values of Singapore’s society but also an educated awareness of alternative views based on well- researched knowledge and information.
Let’s pick up on two issues raised in this letter — the pervasive influence of the media and the need for a sensitive and intelligent sexuality education program to deal with this — in the light of the current AWARE Comprehensive Sexuality Education Program, which instructor’s guide states that :
(1) Pre-marital sex is neutral
(2) Anal sex is neutral
(3) Virginity is a state of mind
(4) Sex is fun
Suppose a student watches a movie (say "Rear Entry") in which there is an explicit sex scene between a teenaged couple (unmarried of course), and for some reason it has escaped the notice of our usually diligent censors that there is a very graphic depiction of anal sex. In the extreme, what might the instructor say in relation to this movie which is consistent with the CSE guide ?
Society and your parents probably don’t generally approve of pre-marital sex, but in reality there may be times when you just feel like doing it with your boyfriend. Lots of teenagers do it. Let me tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is fun and normal, and all forms of sexual activity (including anal sex) are ok. Just make sure you don’t get hurt and that your boyfriend is wearing a condom correctly.
Society and your parents probably think that virginity is important, so you should wait till you get married. Actually its all a state of mind. Some people think that anal sex or oral sex are not sex and therefore you are still a virgin as long as you don’t engage in virginal sex — that’s what you believe, and you are a virgin if that’s what you believe. Some people believe that you are a virgin if you abstain from sex for long periods between each encounter — what you believe, and you are a virgin if that’s what you believe.
Or would this be more appropriate ?
Society and your parents probably don’t generally approve of pre-marital sex, but in reality there may be times when you just feel like doing it with your boyfriend. Lots of teenagers do it. Let me tell you that sexual desire is nothing to be ashamed of. Sexual desire is normal, but I want you to be very clear that there are risks in engaging in (casual / pre-marital) sex, and it is partly for these reasons that your parents wouldn’t want you to engage in pre-marital sex. The risks are :
1. You might get pregnant.
2. You might contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD), particularly when engaging in a riskier form of sexual activity such as anal sex.
3. Condoms when used correctly can significantly reduce the risk of (1) and (2). However, sometimes condoms are used incorrectly (especially in the heat of passion) or they fail (burst). If a condom does not completely cover a lesion, you might still contract genital warts.
4. You might feel hurt emotionally or "used" if the relationship does not work out. Or your privacy might be compromised — look at Edison Chen, et al !
If you do decide to go ahead and have sex, my advice is that you should at least insist that your boyfriend is wearing a condom. Maybe you even want to ask him if he has an STD or multiple sex partners before — that would be an indication (though by no means conclusive) of whether he is "safe" ! And if ever you engage in an unsafe sexual activity, please go and get yourself tested. Early detection and treatment will better protect your health, and is the only responsible thing to do for your future sex partner(s).
If you find all the above a little intimidating, then maybe casual / pre-marital sex is not worth the risk ! While a lot of teenagers do engage in sex, and you might feel pressure to do the same, there are also be teenagers who have consciously decided not to engage in sex until they are married. Maybe this seems a little old-fashioned — sex is portrayed so attractively and as so commonplace in the media. But movies do not create reality, you do. You have a choice as to whether to give in to pressure. You have a choice as to whether to avoid places and situations where you might be tempted to have sex with your boyfriend. And I hope that, when under pressure, you would have the courage and presence of mind to do what is safe even if it seems unpopular — abstaining from sex.
Admittedly the above is easier to pen than to say to a teenager. Well, my time will come when my kids become teenagers.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/sunkopitiam/messages?msg=28486.118
